Practice Self Love going into 2021

Philautia or Self Love has captured our imagination for centuries. One definition is that, Self love is 'regard for ones own well-being and happiness' Oxford Dictionary for languages.com 2021. From this perspective, Self Love can be interpreted as a human flaw and associated with narcissistic behaviour. Yet, in the words of M, L, Homiak, Aristotle believed 'that the good person is his own best friend and ought to love himself...self love does not involve self-congratulation' M, L, Homiak1981, p637. Interestingly, Self Love is put forward in a rather selfless and positive light here. Put Simply, Aristotle's argument is that in order to be a good, virtuous or perhaps a loving person, you should aim to love yourself first.

I love Aristotle thinking. Like many of you, I'd like to think that my personal Self Love practices come out of who I am and serve as a basis from which I can 'extend acts of love', rather than as a means for self-reward, admiration from others or to receive a similar level of love from others in return.

With that said, I'd like to share 4 ways that I practice Self Love. If you want to adopt these as your own then go ahead but really I want you to explore what it is that makes you, you and to think about how you cultivate a lifestyle of self-loving, out of who you are. After all 'when he loves that activity, he loves himself' M, L, Homiak1981, p.639. I take that to mean delight yourself in the pleasures of living.

Now before we begin, if you're here to read about my pamper routine then you've probably come to the wrong place. There's more to Self Love than the pleasures of candle lit bubble baths, gel nails and face masks. Are you comfortable? Okay I'll begin...

1) Journaling

I'm not a religious journaler, but I definitely feel there is value in writing down thoughts, feelings and setting out goals. There are many valuable methods to choose from, like the art of unsent angry letters or writing a letter to your future self. However, I often jot down the date and begin with a quote, short poem, or anything that brings a smile to my face. I then go down the path of thankfulness and include three things that I'm thankful for and finish with three tasks that I'd like to achieve that day. Essentially, journaling is a Self Loving method to self-improvement and self reflection. What's not to like?

2) Tea Drinking

The ancient art of drinking tea originates from Asia. I'm told authentic tea drinking is all about fragrance, colour and flavour and I'm totally obsessed. I personally love a strong cup of Earl Grey Tea, with no sugar and a worthless drop of milk but my go-to is Green Tea. Of course in good old fashioned English tradition I enjoy tea with a biscuit. The reason I love tea so much as a Self-Loving practice, is that it can be carried out in the company of friends and family, I mean nothing beats the loving act of warm and welcoming hospitality. If for whatever reason it's a solo affair, I enjoy being able to take myself off to a cosy and quiet spot to stop, reconnect and process my next move.

3) Reading

Reading might be an obvious one or even a bit boring but they say knowledge is power. Actually, Poetry Parties are a thing in my family. All the girls get together and bring a poem to read out loud to each other to then discuss it. Really I think it's a good excuse to get together, be read to and eat good food. Jokes aside its a ball. Obviously we haven't done this is a while but I've had the opportunity to engage with different material recently. I'm currently reading a lot of intellectual scholarship for Uni (that can be a bit of bore haha), but for pleasure I'm reading Daphne Du Maurier's classic Rebecca. Personally, I believe the written word has the power to bring us closer to ourselves as much as it brings us close to others, whether is be in the physical or spiritual sense. It's for this reason that I think Reading is a great Self Love method.

4) Creativity

I save the best for last and list creativity as the ultimate act of Self Love. Now, I would classify the above Self Love practices as creative processes too and I don't necessarily view creativity in the traditional sense of painting pictures of taking photos. In this respect, defining creativity as Self Love is limiting and tricky...I'll give it a go though. It simply comes out of a healthy attitude and my imaginative dealing of every day tasks. Choosing what to wear, putting together dinner or drinking tea would be examples of this creative process. From this, I understand creativity as a personal and unique expression of my love for life. So I'll leave it to you, to figure out what that means for yourself.

This is already long, so I wont waste your time any more and keep my ending short and sweet. Here's to falling in love with yourself and exploring the art of Self Love practices as we go into 2021.

For enquires or to find out more, email leahhanduk@gmail.com or follow my Instagram @leahlhand

References:

Homiak, Marcia L. "Virtue and Self-Love in Aristotle's Ethics." Canadian Journal of Philosophy 11, no. 4 (1981): 633-51. Accessed January 6, 2021. http://www.jstor.org/stable/40231222.

Oxford Dictionary for languages.com (202) Self Love, available: https://www.google.com/search?sxsrf=ALeKk00vpPkNE4A9J7s8oRod5OuEoZ-h-g%3A1609956648667&ei=KP31X8meKNmg1fAP4Z-T0AU&q=self+love+definition&oq=self+love+defin&gs_lcp=CgZwc3ktYWIQAxgAMggIABDJAxCRAjICCAAyAggAMgcIABAUEIcCMgIIADICCAAyAggAMgIIADICCAA6BAgAEEc6DAgjEMkDECcQRhD5AToFCAAQkQI6CggAELEDEBQQhwI6DQgAELEDEIMBEBQQhwI6CAgAELEDEIMBUPlhWPN0YJyEAWgAcAF4AIABWYgBjgeSAQIxMpgBAKABAaoBB2d3cy13aXrIAQjAAQE&sclient=psy-ab accessed 05/01/2021